he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
