just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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