Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize