whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
