Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
