I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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