I'm so fucking centered right now
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
