I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You made out with two different species that night
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
