Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
