I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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