My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
