OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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