Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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