he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
