If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
