we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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