his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
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well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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