So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
