ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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