I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
