And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
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he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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