with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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