someone threw a dead crab at me
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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