Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
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