ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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