And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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