Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
