I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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