you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
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