I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
