The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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