i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
