You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
