i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
