Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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