News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize
