I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
