Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
