dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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