It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize