Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
