:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
