And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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