are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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