But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
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I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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