So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize