I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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