What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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