The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
