If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
