But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
