dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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