there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
