i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
