I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
