I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
