they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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