Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
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I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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