i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize