I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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