Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
