I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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