I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
